Band Aid

One of my favorite bands ever is Guns N’ Roses. These guys had it all. They were great musicians, they were loud, they were charismatic, they were popular while at the same time they were alternative, they were nuts!…..and they had a fantastic name.

Guns N' Roses logo

Don’t forget they had this incredible logo to top it off. Recently it was announced that Guns N’ Roses will be touring this Summer. This Reunion Tour has been long-awaited and most people thought it would never happen. That’s why it’s called the “Not in this Lifetime” tour. Axl Rose and Slash FINALLY healed some old wounds and so they’re playing together once again. I’m super pumped to be going to Soldier Field on July 1 to check them out. It has been a lifelong dream and for the last 20 years it has been a regret that I never saw them back in their heyday. Needless to say, it’s gonna be incredible!

I think one of the first reasons I got into Guns was their name. As a kid I wondered what does “Guns N Roses” mean? Where did they get that name anyway? Well, it was W. Axl Rose (real name William “Bill” Bailey) combining with some members (including Tracii Guns) of a band called “L.A. Guns” and so there you have it, “GUNS N’ ROSES”. Awesome! NOW its iconic but in the beginning it just made sense and sounded pretty cool. It was a good name for a heavy metal, hard rock band.

But what if your name is Kamarendeep Weisberg and your friend that plays the drums is named something like Steve Flubber? “Flubber N’ Weisberg” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, does it?  So for people like Kam and Steve, they need to create something fresh.

Here’s a list of names I created for non-creative musical guys:

Pond Scum (AWESOME band name!……girls always use this phrase to describe guys they hate, like “Hey girl, I advise you don’t talk to that dude in the back of the bar, he’s POND SCUM!”)

Asphalt (this one might be taken already)

Aspercreme (You are inviting possible, even probable legal challenges from the patent owners of the medicine if you choose this band name)

Fresh Oil

Loose Gravel (I really like street sign band names. One of the most memorable street sign names was for Bon Jovi’s album called “Slippery When Wet”. This has inspired many of my recent fantasy sports team names such as Loose Gravel and Fresh Oil. When you stop to think about it, band names, album names, and fantasy sports team names are all used interchangeably!)

Maple Syrup

Lloyd Christmas (Named after the iconic character played by Jim Carrey in “Dumb & Dumber”; I have a weird feeling this one is taken by a real band already)

Defunct (one of my all-time favorite words)


Meatgazer (Insert joke here: “Yeah so I have a friend who’s a butcher…….he’s a real meatgazer!!!!” Violent laughter ensues.)

Fiddle Faddle (Is this the name of a candy? Yeah I just looked it up. It’s a popcorn treat. Who cares! Forget about the lawsuits! We’re using it for our garage band.)


Your What Hurts?

Zoltar (Inspired by the carnival game featured in the movie “Big”)


fudge (not capitalized for some reason)

Jam N’ Bread (YA KNOW! Like the famous song from “The Sound of Music” that nobody, I mean NOBODY can stop singing once they get it in their heads)

I hope somebody uses one of these names. I won’t even copyright them. Go ahead and use them, free of charge! Of course, you could also just go to: and create your own.

So, which one(s) do you like? Which one(s) do you hate? Why? What are your band names? If you were in a band what would you like your band name to be? Please comment below.

Lloyd Christmas

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