The Greatest Music Videos Ever!

Remember the days of taking the bus home from school? You ran home (more like you probably walked), kissed your girlfriend goodbye for the day (more like you probably yelled “see ya wouldn’t want to be ya” to your bozo buddy), happily took out the garbage (more like you probably cursed your family for being lazy bums), and then settled down to watch MTV and VH1. Oh, those were the days! Gimme a VJ and some Spring Break live from Cancun! I’m betting you just loved those weekday afternoons spent working hard on your homework (more like you probably vegged out in front of the TV while eating Twinkies and trying to clean out the video game cartridges by blowing on them) and chilling out watching some sweet music videos! Today the “Dutch Lion” reminisces about those MTV days and the fantastic music videos that you longed for while the bus driver Marge inched closer and closer to home while you could never quite understand as a back seat driver why she always stopped at the railroad tracks and stared both ways for eons. It almost seemed like she was hoping a train would arrive soon to smash the bus! Oh well, in honor of MTV…..and even Marge…..let’s throw out a list of the best music videos ever! Check that, they might not be the best music videos ever but they are definitely the “Dutch Lion’s” favorite music videos of all-time. Let’s start with the runners-up.

Honorable Mentions : Janet Jackson – “Rhythm Nation”; Guns N’ Roses – “November Rain”; Bruce Hornsby – “Mandolin Rain”

I’m not sure I love Janet “Miss Jackson if you’re nasty” or even love her songs or the videos all that much. However, what I do know is that I enjoy her “Rhythm Nation” video to the point that I never turn it off once it starts. I guess you could say the rhythm gets me intrigued. I feel similarly about these other Honorable Mentions such as “Mandolin Rain” (Super cheesy but it’s a simple, classic video, the weird-looking band members just singing and playing their instruments, you know, out in the rain. Is that a ‘tail’ falling down Bruce’s back? Nonetheless, scrape off the cheese and what do you have? You’re left with a beautiful song) and GNR’s “November Rain” (Again, crazy stuff enveloped by an extraordinary song)

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And now, the Dutch Lion’s Top 5 music videos!…….

#5 : Guns N’ Roses – “You Could Be Mine”

Talk about your movie tie-ins! Arnold, Axl, that metallic terminator that turns into a policeman and gets shattered into a million metal pieces! It’s insane and nuts!…….just like the Guns in their heyday. If this video didn’t get you out to the theater, nothing would. This was probably the high point for both Guns and Schwarzenegger. Don’t forget about the classic finale: “Target assessment…..WASTE OF AMMO.”

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#4 : Foo Fighters – “Everlong”

Talk about creativity! Foo Fighters not only put out great songs, but extremely unusual, unique, and creative videos too. The “Everlong” video boasts a wonderful dreamscape with evil guys in a forest that are using stuff like supersized axes and chain saws while Dave Grohl fights back with weird wooden numbchucks and……a GIANT HAND! The hand is the most memorable thing in this video. It’s a great song, some say the Foo Fighters’ best tune of all, but don’t tell me that when you hear it on the radio you’re not thinking of the GIANT HAND!

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#3 : Guns N’ Roses – “Estranged”

Another classic vid by the Gunners. This one features Axl roaming around their old Hollywood haunts such as the Roxy, as well as his mansion on the hill in his vivid red and white Converse high tops (I know you’re shopping on eBay for these in just under two minutes from now). Then Axl jumps into the ocean from the side of a ship! What in the world! Slash walking on water (about the 8 minute mark) amid a school of dolphins! I love the super-speed looks at the ginormous concert venues that Guns sold out back then…..check that…..that they’re STILL selling out due to the “Not in This Lifetime Tour” (Bucket list item checked off for me and my buddies. We went last July 1 to Soldier Field. One word: INCREDIBLE!) To me, “Estranged” is both an underrated song and underrated video. Funny thing is my buddy Jeff mentioned this at last year’s concert and it took me a minute to remember this video. How could I forget!?! After the concert I watched the video and all the memories came rushing back. This was when Guns ruled the world! If you went to last year’s concert, you’ll know that GNR STILL rules the world. Masterful.

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#2 : Billy Idol – “Cradle of Love”

I always get worried telling people that I love this song. I know what you’re thinking. But guess what? I don’t care! I love Billy Idol and this video is awesome! Who cares if this video makes you a little uncomfortable? That’s the point! Rock the cradle of love! Does it make you cringe? Perhaps. Is it fun? Hell yeah! Billy Idol Forever!

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#1 : Dire Straits – “Money for Nothing”

Groundbreaking when it arrived in 1985, this video was too cool. I don’t know anyone who didn’t like this video. The computer graphics were jarring to us suburbanites who had studied books all day in school and then waited forever to get home from that bus driven by Marge. It was frankly, era-defining. Nowadays our kids are playing video games with graphics like this in a “throwback” game called Minecraft. It’s so weird to me. Maybe they too love Minecraft because even THEY can tell there is something great about the simplicity of it all. The guitars. The synthesizers. The sweatband. Sting! The dog watching MTV. All of it was so suave in the mid 80s. “Money for Nothing” was simply one of those moments in time that shall never return. In the pre-DVR era, “Let me get my tape recorder and a blank tape quick before it’s too late to record!” The most incredible video of the 1980s MTV era. Unforgettable.

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There you have it……..the “Dutch Lion’s” favorite music videos ever. Do yourself a favor and actually watch these videos, especially if you enjoy the music. It’s quite an experience. So what do YOU like?